Everybody hates you when you love rock n' roll

Well, maybe not everybody... but everybody at the City Limits Inn in Yorkton.

I'll start off by saying the title if this entry comes from one of the finest rock songs to ever come out of this nation, 'Rockstar' by Vancouver sleeeeeeze rockers Crystal Pistol. Ever since I've seen CP live, I've had a ping pong game in my head as to whether it is they, or Black Halos, that are my fave band ever from Van, either way, Crystal Pistol is VERY much worth checking out.

I wish they were the reason for this entry...

So let me tell you about my weekend.

Last Monday morning I get an e-mail from (my cover band project) Rhymes With Fun's drummer, saying we have a gig in Yorkton THIS weekend if we wanted it. Now usually, gigs are booked at least a couple months in advance, and scrambling to get a Friday off work and change any weekend plans isn't an appealing prospect, but the money was good and I've really enjoyed every minute I've ever spent in Yorkton, and we're still a very new band that needs all the stage time we can get so, I was all in.

It should be noted at this point that every other time I've played Yorkton, was at a club called Holly's... great crowds, staff, management... eeeeeeasily in my top fave three non-Regina rooms to play in all of western Canada.

This time, the booking was at a place called City Limits Inn. (A room I renamed City Limits Inn Tavern, so I could call it CLIT)

The whole rest of the week, I heard nothing but horror stories about this place from many people in Yorkton I know... some said "Yeah we'll come... I guess", some said in no way would they set foot in there.

I know now why that is, when you can tell who the classiest person in the place is by locating the person with the least amount of urine stains on their pants... yeah. (although, I DID learn that in some places, playing VLTs is a career)

We got this last minute show to help out another band who couldn't do the show. I've seen this other band @ The Drink a couple times before... and they are so MOR (middle of the road) that little yellow paint lines would be jealous listening to them, but they were MOR rock.

Rhymes With Fun's song list isn't entirely MOR, but we have enough of that material to draw on when we have to that I would've thought we'd be well accepted there.

Apparently, this band we replaced also does a LOT of country music.

The first words the bar night manager said to me: "Bands here play all country early in the night, go half country half classic rock in the middle, and by the end, you can play all rock if you want".

Um thanks... here's my (in my head) counter offer, "We'll play 'Cadillac Ranch' somewhere in our first set and refrain from playing Rage Against the Machine."

Now, this little "pep talk" from this staff guy already put my punk rock back up... but whatever... in my 10 years on the scene, there's not a lot I haven't seen and had to deal with, so I've gotten pretty good at brushing that off... oh, and we all managed to brush off the ridiculous set times/breaks the bar insists on, and even managed to adhere to the INSANE "No guests in the rooms after 11pm" rule. On top of it all, we kept the first couple of sets as MOR as possible, played a couple country songs we never really played before to show we were trying to accommodate everyone, all that stuff.
(although admittedly, I did have the crowd yelling "Fuck country" in unison by the forth set... but most joined in) :-)

The next morning at about 10 am I was out on the fire escape having my morning smoke (another rule I adhered to) and the manager comes up to get the guy in my band that booked the gig, called him down to his office. (for those of you who have never played in a band, no staff ever comes up to a band room at 10 am to say "Hey, nice job last nite boys!". :-)

So... the bar manager proceeds to tell our band spokesmen that we are a really good band, really good guys, but they want a country band, here's less than half the money promised, have a nice trip back to Regina. (we did by the way, we had vodka)

For the second time ever in my career, I was in a band that was fired. (the first time, back in 2000, it was REEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAALLY deserved... a story for another entry)

Now as much as I appreciate the "It's not you it's me" approach, (and the guy is right, for as new as we are, we a damn good band, one of the pluses of having four guys all with 10+ years experience, been rebooked for every gig we've played so far) I was still pretty steamed.

So, after enjoying a cigarette in my room while packing, I went down to help load out. (we singers don't usually like doing that, but this was an unusual situation) :-)

As much as I didn't want to give that bar another penny (this is the ONLY bar, and I've toured from Vancouver to southern Ontario, that didn't give the band staff prices on drinks), I put a couple bucks in the jukebox, which at the time was playing Keith Urban and Toby Keith (surprise!) so we could have some Skid Row and Bad Religion playing while we worked.

This all sounds negative, but friends, I write this to get to a positive ending... you see, "rock guys" might not like country as a rule, but we do tolerate it, and many of us even agree to cater to it a couple times a night, it IS Saskatchewan after all right.

Well, all a person should or can ask for in life is the same respect they show... I wasn't. WE weren't.

So... I Chris Real, do solemnly swear, to never, ever play another country song as long as I live, so help me Bowie, Amen.

I've always known country music fans don't generally tolerate things like Democrats, black people, readers, etc... but this is the first time I personally was actually discriminated against because of who I am and what I love. It sucks. I've been looked down on before... something about a guy in eye liner and nail polish still offends some people, it's beautiful, but I've never been literally discriminated against. So the other positive I can take from this is empathy.

My rock n' roll fires have been ignited now... like you wouldn't believe.

Fuck you I won't do what you tell me, fuck you I won't do what you tell me.

fin

Oh wait... one last thing, I realize I haven't done a "Monday FUNishment" since like the second week of this blog, it was meant to be a weekly thing, my apologies, life has been nuts the past couple weeks... a

As an act of contrition, next week's "Monday FUNishment" will be Chris Real getting in the ring with... himself. Should be a good read.

Rawk.

Chris F'n Real.

Album Review: The Minus 5 - Killingsworth

The Minus 5 are a band which began around a decade ago as a side project for singer/songwriter Scott McCaughey. McCaughey has received critical acclaim, if not exactly commercial success, for his work with the Young Fresh Fellows, the Baseball Project and as an unofficial member of R.E.M. for the last 15 years.

Based out of Seattle, McCaughey got lumped in with the grunge movement in the early ‘90s, primarily based on the fact that he happened to live in the same city as Nirvana, Pearl Jam and company. However, McCaughey’s songs have far less to do with Neil Young and fuzzed out guitars than they do with the pristine classical melodies of Big Star and The Beatles.

The Minus 5’s most recent album, Killingsworth, definitely strays from his Big Star influences. Featuring lots of acoustic guitars, steel guitar and female backing vocals reminiscent of Emmy Lou Harris, this album is far more Gram Parsons than Alex Chilton. However, this stylistic shift definitely works in McCaughey’s favour since it highlights his intelligent, witty and literate lyrics.

This album features contributions from Peter Buck of R.E.M., Colin Meloy of The Decemberists and Ken Stringfellow of the Posies. Highlights include “Scott Walker’s Fault,” “Dark Hand Of Contagion” and “Your Favourite Mess.”

4 out of 5

The Minus 5 - "The Lurking Barrister"

...submitted by JJ

A Chat With... Chris Real from Rhymes With Fun

Rhymes With Fun are a relatively new band on the Regina music scene. In fact, they are so new that they are still in their original packaging. Although the band itself may be new, the four members are all veterans of the Saskatchewan music scene. There is a good chance you have seen Chris Real, Jayson Ford, Matt Mann and Eric Stone in prior projects such as B*!*L*F, The League Of One, Bazooka Joe, SuperJuice, Parlour Trixx and Another Wave, to name a few.

As the guys prepare for their first official gig at The Plains this Saturday, I had a chance to sit down with singer/guitarist (and 4RMusic scribe extraordinaire) Chris Real to discuss what people can expect.

4RMusic: So Chris, what rhymes with fun?

Chris Real: Wussy, Scratch, Cleaver, Blunt, Moonsang (???), Dot… and for the ladies out there, Rawk.

4RM: How did Rhymes With Fun get together? I ask this because a complete stranger looking at a picture of you guys would probably see a punk rocker, a beatnik, an 80’s hair metal dude and a heavy metal drummer. It’s almost a Rock n’ Roll version of the Village People. ;-)

CR: Ahahaha I sorta like that. “It rhymes with fun at the F… U… CK…”

Aside from being a clever observation, it’s also a good indication of what you get for songs at a RWF show. If we had a tambourine player dressed in legwarmers with a Flock of Seagulls haircut, it’d be perfect. None of us really like the same kinds of music… I think U2 and Guns n’ Roses and Billy Idol are the only three artists everyone in the band digs, after that, song choice is somewhat a battle, but a fun one. It makes for a set list that’s all over the place, but we like it that way. The only rules we have with song choice is, you gotta be able to dance to it, and the majority of any crowd should know enough words to sing along.

We got together because we all liked each other’s former projects… I’ve wanted to work with our guitar player Matt for a long time, so when the chance came, I was all in. Also, we all like the same kind of beer so stopping at the offsale to prepare for rehearsal is never stressful.

4RM: You guys are focusing on covers for the time being. Do you have any plans to do any originals in the future?

CR: We had decided as a band to start off with strictly covers… it’s a great way to get familiar with your teammates. Plus, it’s the only way to make a buck and play shows you don’t have to set up yourself. However, we’re finding that harder to stick to than we thought… we’re already taking time out of preparing for shows to work on some riffs and the creativity is flowing very well… we might start to see a couple originals creeping into our set in a few months time.

4RM: What are your thoughts about playing originals vs. playing covers?

CR: I’ve been in original projects all my playing life… one of which took me all across the country, got my songs on the radio, a vid on MuchMusic (when they still like, played videos), and allowed me to meet many of my heroes… I love to play guitar, I love to sing, but I LIVE to write songs, so that part of what I do is never going away. Still, a cover band gives a guy the chance to hang out with his boys, play some great music, chat up club waitresses after everyone else has gone home, and most importantly, stay busy with music… it’s a great way to play lots and keep your chops up – and unless you’re a big time act, being in a cover band allows you to play in front of way more people, way more often, and make more coin which you can then use to support your original music habit.

4RM: You guys are playing at The Plains this Saturday. What are your thoughts about this venue closing it’s doors later this year?

CR: Honestly, it sucks more than anything has ever sucked before. Clubs come and clubs go and usually my reaction is “meh”, but that room was a huge, huge part of my development into the musician, and in a way, the human being I am today… and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way in Regina. I have been promised the clock that has hung on the wall and is visible from the stage for the better part of 30 years… man, I’ve looked at that clock a LOT over the past 8-9 years.

I’ll be sad as hell to see it go, but in the meantime, I’m resolving to be on that stage as much as they’ll let me until they shut down… that starts this Saturday. Everyone come out and help us say good-bye to a Regina institution (and support a local band that should be in one).

4RM: Since The Plains is closing, I guess you guys can always get a gig at JD’s...

CR: Who was this question MEANT for???? ;-)

No thank you. Yuck. I love to play, but I have my pride. The clientele of that room is… a gene pool that needs more chlorine.

4RM: Tell us about some your previous bands and projects.

CR: In grade 6 I made a model of the solar system. I went to the crafts store and bought various sizes of Styrofoam balls and… oh… do over.

It seems I’m always in several different projects at once… a band whore in the truest sense of the word. To talk about them all would break the internet. On a national level, I found the most success with the band I alluded to in a previous question, -another wave-. We made more of a name for ourselves outside of SK than we did in it, which to this day I find very odd… On a provincial level, I’m probably best known as the frontman from B*!*L*F. It’s been almost two years since we’ve been a band, but it’s still the project most people know me from and want to talk to me about… which I have zero problem with, I frigging LOVED being a part of that band. Right now, it’s all about Rhymes With Fun for the covers thing, and my original project I’m calling ‘Chris Real and the Others’.

4RM: Music runs in your family. What is your earliest musical memory and when did you know you HAD to be a musician?

CR: My earliest musical memory is hearing Blondie’s ‘The Tide Is High’ in my grandma’s basement when I was maybe 3. Oddly enough, that is also my most recent musical memory, I should really stop drinking.

I knew I had to be a musician three months after I picked up a guitar toward the end of grade 10. Two different things happened in one week that summer. #1, my dad called me up on stage to play a song with his band at this big country music fest in Innisfail, AB. My first time onstage… was in front of 5,000 people. #2, I went to a pawn shop in Edmonton and bought my first amp with a distortion channel. I got it home, plugged it in, hit the switch, played one chord, and it was all over. Lifer.

4RM: Should Kanye West get a “swift” kick to the family jewels for his stunt at the MTV MMAs?

CR: I’ve always detested Kanye West, so this latest F-up of his was a great springboard for me to go off on the guy. However, when I think about it… there’s been a fair amount of pretty young blonde girls I’ve made cry by mentioning another female before they had a chance to finish too… so maybe I’m being too rough on him.

Naaaah, Kanye is garbage. Definitely kick him in the balls… if you can locate them.

4RM: Lastly, who are you most proud of sharing the stage with, besides myself? ;-)

CR: It’s pretty hard to think of a major Canadian rock act I haven’t been on a bill with… except OLP, that’s the one band I’ve never got to play a show with… and they’re my favourite Canadian band of all time… maybe someday. I really loved playing a few shows with Robin Black… what that guy did on the Canadian music scene a few years back influenced me and inspired me in a profound way, so to be part of it for a few shows was intense.

This past August, we got to play a show with Econoline Crush. That was very, very big for me. I’ve also got to jam with a couple guys from Prince’s band when they were through Regina a few years ago, which was incredible.

I think my favourite on stage moment ever was playing a rock fest in northern SK a couple years ago. Jet Set Satellite was on the bill, and during our set, JSS singer Trev came up on stage with us and we traded off lines of ‘Rebel Yell’, the crowd response was electric. All that aside, this Saturday at 10 pm, and ideally for a long time going forward, I will be most proud to share the stage with Matt Mann, Eric Stone, and Jayson Ford.

RAWK. \m/

http://virb.com/rhymeswithfun

Make sure to check out Rhymes With Fun at The Plains this Saturday.

...submitted by JJ

Running With The Devil... or at least with my iPod.

Today I participated in the Queen City Marathon as part of a relay team. A lot of my friends think I'm crazy for running but I find it to be one of the most relaxing, healthy and stress reducing activities I can do. Next to being on a stage or at an amazing concert, running is the best natural high I can experience. However, running requires motivation and a main factor that keeps me running year after year is that it gives me a prime opportunity to drown out the world and listen to music. And choosing some bitchin' tunes to throw on my iPod is essential to the running experience. So here are some of my favourite tunes that get me cranked up while hitting the pavement.

Frank Black - "Headache"

This insanely catchy song from The Pixies main man always puts a smile on my face with its bouncy guitars and stream of conscious lyrics. Frank Black is the man.

Tom Petty - "You Wreck Me"

Tom Petty is one of the most consistent artists in rock n' roll and this simple, driving tune from Wallflowers is the perfect song to start a run with.

The Primitives - "Crash"

This one hit wonder is my idea of a perfect song. Great hook, fun, uptempo. Plus it always reminds me of Dumb and Dumber.

Ramones - "I Don't Wanna Grow Up"

The Ramones covering Tom Waits. Enough said.

Motley Crue - "Kickstart My Heart"

I pride myself on being a music snob but Radiohead just doesn't quite cut it for running.

Robin Black - "Why Don't You Love Me?"

It probably sounds bizarre to have a glam rocker on my list but Robin Black is now a MMA fighter and he could definitely kick my ass. I'm a huge fan of Robin and his band but this song just erupts and leaps out of speakers and headphones.

The Black Halos - "Some Things Never Fall"

Trashy, sleazy punk rock from one of Canada's most underrated bands. In a perfect world they would be huge. Unfortunately, our world is pretty messed up so we have to suffer with Nickelback.

R.E.M. - "It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)"

No matter what mood I am in, this song always puts me in a good mood. This song basically says, "Life sucks, but we're all in it together so we might as well make the most of it." This is perfect for getting in the right frame of mind for running.

So there you go. If you see me running around Wascana Park and I am not responding to your wave or "hello" it is because I am zoning out and listening to my tunes. I may be a music snob but I am not regular snob. ;-)

...submitted by JJ

Immaculate Machine at O'Hanlon's Irish Pub

Immaculate Machine swung threw town on Monday, playing a fantastic set of their indie power pop at O’Hanlon’s. Until recently, all I really knew about this band was that this was Kathryn Calder’s “other” band. I am a huge New Pornographers fan so I have seen her more than ably fill the big shoes of Neko Case. A friend of mine recently ripped me a copy of Immaculate Machine’s album Fables and it has been on constant repeat on my iPod ever since. So needless to say I was a little excited for this show.

My expectations were initially a little dashed when I heard prior to the show that Kathryn Calder would not be part of the band’s lineup on this tour due to an illness in her family. I had a weird sense of deja vu because when I saw the New Pornagraphers two or three years ago, Neko Case was not part of the lineup and Ms. Calder filled in. However, Calder had more than a few people asking, “Neko Who?”

I never caught the name of Calder’s replacement but she did a stellar job filling in on backing vocals and guitar. No attempts were made by the band to replace Calder’s keyboards though. On a side note, Calder’s fill-in also did a rousing rendition of Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance WIth Somebody” later on in the night at karaoke. I can’t say I’m a big Whitney fan but she did a great job, with tongue firmly in cheek.

Definitely a fun part of the night.

Basically this version of Immaculate Machine was primary singer/songwriter Brooke Gallupe and some hired guns. However, they have obviously played enough times together because they sounded tight, with guitars interweaving around each other and displaying some tight harmonies.

Highlights included Gallupe’s intro about bullshitting Sook-Yin Lee on CBC’s DNTO for “He’s A Biter,” a rollicking version of “Sound The Alarms” and the Beatle-esque “C’mon Sea Legs.”

Being a relative newbie to the band, I am still in the early processes of delving into their catalogue but I love everything I’ve heard so far. I purchased their excellent new album High On Jackson Hill at the show and have probably played it from start to finished about eight times so far and counting.

Brooke Gallupe is definitely one of Canada’s most underrated songwriters. It’s a shame there weren’t more people at a FREE SHOW(!!!!!!) but it was definitely worth the money (on the CD and beer anyways) and time.

Below is a video for their single “Sound The Alarms.”

http://myspace.com/immaculatemachine

...submitted by JJ

Who Thought This Was A Good Idea???

Nirvana has some songs featured in the new Guitar Hero 5 video game. THAT idea is great. But whose idea was it to create a Kurt Cobain screen avatar singing/rocking out to Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name"??? Will the next version of the game have Johnny Rotten singing a Nickelback tune? Surely this must be a sign of the apocalypse.

Kurt Cobain must be be reaching for another shotgun right now...

Courtesy of Rollingstone.com, here is a preview of Guitar Hero 5. Viewer discretion is advised...

...submitted by JJ

Beauty Queen - A Live Review: The Fury

I wasn't planning to see a show this past Wednesday @ McNally's. I was planning to play one of my own, and see a few other bands... but not a "show".

So I walk into McNally's guitar in hand and band mates at side, and see 5 individuals we didn't recognize setting up... not a common occurrence on the Regina music scene. Turns out there was a reason, they were in from Vancouver.

The punk rock purist in me didn't want to like them before they even played a note... their gear was too nice.

They came on stage and introduced themselves as The Fury. (a name I sincerely hope they have copywrited... searching for this band on MySpace is a pain in the ass... it's like there's a The Fury in every country in the free world)

To save you the trouble: Click Furiously here

When they started, they had my attention, but not for the music... frontfem Chase had me riveted to my seat - partly because it would've be awkward to stand up ;-). I'm fond of saying "I miss when people were sexy because they were on stage, not on stage because they're sexy". (that's generally followed by a "so go to hell Miley Cyrus and Pete Wentz and all the other talentless whores...")

By the middle of the first song, it was clear the face (and abs) of this group was a fine combination of both. Vocal chops, incredible voice control, and that certain "It" factor in her stage presence that can't be defined nor should be.

Still, I wasn't 100% sold... honestly, two songs in I was thinking "Meh, it's Paramore".

This should teach me not to make snap judgements, because The Fury's "Misery" was about to get down to "Business" as their set went on.

From the opening tapped harmony guitar intro of their first song leading into a riff and groove that would make Bif Naked proud... or maybe jealous, it was clear the band, comprised of Jon and Royce on shared lead guitar duties, and ultra tight rhythm section of bassist Colin and drummer Jay were more than competent... but as the set went on it became clear they were much more than that.

As a guitar player, I tend to focus more on that side of things, and generally only notice the rhythm section if there's a train wreck or monster groove (there were none of the former, lots of the latter).

The guitars crunched when they had to, were delicate when they needed to be, and the shared solos were traded off expertly, both men shredding, WITHOUT letting the context of the song get lost - a rare trait, and a huge feather in their caps.

The Fury's songwriting chops also became clearer and clearer, and the hooks stronger and stronger as the set went on, and most importantly, carved out their own sound and vibe. ParaNOmore.

You'll forgive me for not knowing titles, but the songs that stood out the most were the ones intro'd with the words "This one's not on the CD". I good sign of things to come.

In the meantime, check out the three tunes on The Fury's MySpace page (again Click Furiously here ).

My personal fave is 'Just This Time', which is not the best representation of what this band is about sonically, but the songwriting and structure of the song is just so, so strong...

Check it out, the only thing better than supporting Canadian rock n' roll, is supporting Canadian rock n' roll that deserves it.

Oh yeah, the other bands, mine included, were alright as well.

Rawk.

Chris F'n Real